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The Fine Art of Tactical Retreat - In short: Birds of Prey (1987)

Jul. 11th, 2013

10:59 am - In short: Birds of Prey (1987)

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aka Beaks: The Movie

Original title: El ataque de los pájaros

Welcome to the beautiful world of René Cardona Jr., groping belatedly for that sweet, sweet "nature strikes back" money and possibly a bit of Hitchcocksploitation (duMauriersploitation?) money! Thrill to the least believable pair of TV reporters known to mankind (Michelle Johnson and Christopher Atkins) jet around the world to hold very very long and very very boring interviews about the developing series of bird attacks happening all around the world! That is, if you're lucky, otherwise, thrill to said pair interviewing random people about birds instead of bird attacks! Be astonished by the apathetic way Cardona interrupts what may or may not be meant to be a main narrative (full disclosure: the word "narrative" generally implies things like plot and character development, dramatic escalation and so on, none of which applies to the movie at hand) with said bird attacks, a mix of library footage of birds, hot slow motion action (without the hot and the action), sudden bouts of gloopy gore and eye mutilation that are missing from a lot of versions of the movie because we can't keep the only entertaining bits in, now can we, and the director slaughtering real life birds for the audience's pleasure (or vomiting)!

Cry for mankind about the obvious, yet unexamined disconnect between making a movie with a plot (however dishonest) about nature striking back at humanity for our destructive influence, and slaughtering lots of animals for it! Feel somewhat grimy for having watched this thing and follow it with a helpful cup of tea and a slightly less unpleasant and sleazy movie like some piece of Japanese ninja soft porn!

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